Plodding Along

You may have heard that the middle class, moaning minnies in Kirkgate are getting fed up with the misunderstood youngsters from Matrix vomiting in the street, pissing in doorways and kicking shit out of each other in the evenings; typical - you'd think they'd never been young! They've been bleating to the local plod and trying to curry favour with our councillors via the medium of Twitter. 

You will be pleased to hear that the authorities in question are having none of it. In an exclusive interview for The Pun, Sgt Jewel of the local constabulary said, "Can you imagine sir, the amount of paperwork the lads would have to do, if we started arresting violent people sir?"  "Why sir, they'd be at it arf the night so they would sir.......You see sir: we, and the great British public, view paperwork as a waste of police time sir; so we try not to do any".

Harb tried to get an interview with the councillors responsible for the Kirkgate area, Councillors See No-Evil and See No-Evil but they were far to busy trying on dresses for the next procession to be bothered with such trivialities.