The Pun

Ok, so the Katharine Viner article in the Gruaniad has stirred up a bit of a hornet's nest - I expect a letter will be pouring in to the 'All New Slightly Bigger, Slightly Smaller Gazette' as I type. Certainly the grumblings on the street have reached fever pitch - well nearly fever pitch - well a couple of people have mentioned it in passing. The general feeling is that this kind of negativity can only do Ripon harm: "Who's going to visit Ripon after reading that?" is the cry; an argument defeated somewhat by the fact that no-body comes here anyway!
The thing is, you see: it's all true - the very day after its publication the council nincompoops   were parading up and down Ripon's streets in their fancy dress costumes, puffing out their chests and pretending to be important. As for the 'Portas Bid' - Did you see the video? Well did you? SHAMBOLIC!
I must admit though, I would have liked to see the Alice in Wonderland murals - how long would it have been before someone (and I can think of some likely candidates) painted a grossly erect penis on the mad hatter and a fetching pair of comely breasts on Alice? Ripon's 'ginnels' would certainly have been enlivened.

Like an alcoholic, Ripon must admit to itself that it is in a mess. Only then can the cure be taken and the cure is radical change - embracing the 21st century instead of wallowing in the mid 1950s.