Evening All

As the seasons change and winter breathes its last gasp; almost unnoticed on Kirkgate (Ripon's shambles) appear those brightly coloured harbingers of spring: the police van. Litter swirls in their wake and settles back onto the deserted street. It is early Friday evening. No-one is about to witness their arrival save a few hardened drinkers in the Royal Oak, the odd Hopperesque diner and Harbinger, wobbling back to the rank from an evening of prayer and contemplation.

The local Plod heave themselves out of their stripy cocoons and swarm down urine scented alleyways, then all is quiet; what could they be searching for at this time of the evening and who is so dangerous that he requires three vans to bring him in; is it a drugs raid, or are they searching for the elusive crooner and Ripon Mare Andrew (Andy) Williams?  Williams, as you will know by now has been arrested, allegedly in connection with the disappearance of public funds (nicking dosh) and yet he's still holding on to his shiny chain.

 You'd think, wouldn't you, that given the furore surrounding his arrest he would have immediately handed over the chains of office and stepped down from all public engagements but no! You can't get rid of (Andy) that easily. As the plod waddle up the wrong alley, Teflon (Andy) is no doubt cowering in the bushes awaiting the moment to slither back into the council chamber wearing an oleaginous smirk and the contents of his 'Mare's Dressing Up Box'. Imagine for a moment if you will, that (Andy) is innocent of the charge; that he is as pure in thought and deed as a new-born lamb gambolling in a Spring meadow: would it still not be the right thing to do to protect the office of Ripon Mare he professes to hold in such high esteem? As it is, he has not only tarnished the position by association with the charge, but also made it an object of derision. STEP DOWN NOW (Andy) limit the damage and do us all a favour.

Who the hell is Harbinger?

So! What's been going on since I've been away? Mr Broon was shot down in his prime by the Eton Rifles - who'd have thought it? The Eurozone has gone in to meltdown - who'd have thought it? And the end of the world wasn't quite so 'nigh' as we were led to believe - who'd ...........

Ripon cathedral has some lovely new glass doors and some flower planters. Well done them.
The lovely old Well's building is finally being brought back to life after how many years?
And we have a new mayor. No......wait a minute........It's Andrew 'Andy' Williams, the oleaginous crooner who's 'turn' has unfortunately come round again.

 Here he is at a recent concert in aid of 'Andy', with his new backing group, 'The Serviettes'

'Andy's' desire to do nothing, with a chain round his neck, knows no bounds it seems, and it has even reached the attention of 'The Gruaniad':

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/jun/19/olympic-torch-olympics-2012  More about this later.

The all new, slightly smaller, slightly bigger, but almost empty Ripon Gazette's laudable campaign to free Gregg's doughnut  has it seems, stalled, as the hapless comestible still languishes in clink without charge:

From what we can gather from Gregg himself, the doughnut is being held in cells at the old prison behind the cathedral. 'He is being reasonably well treated', said Gregg, 'but he has lost a lot of jam'.

Harbinger will be investigating the case and if necessary contacting Amnesty.

There are some sad losses to the town: Great Northern Wine is no more, the short lived Cafe Flo in Kirkgate has sprouted wings and er.....Flo wn, and the oleaginous crooner Andrew 'Andy' Williams has  left office as Ripon mayor..........Oh no; wait a minute.

On the up side we have a new wine bar on Duck Hill in the shape of 'Scoffy's', a smart new cafe is about to open its doors in the aforementioned Well's building in Fishergate and Harbinger hears that a new bar and grill will open soon in a 'tippetytop secret' location on the market square. Ooooooh!

Latest Release

The long awaited new album from Ripon crooner Andrew (Andy) Williams is on release. Featuring the classic 'Love Me Like A Man' a song (Andy) has made his own, the album marks a turning point in (Andy's) career focusing as it does on......well.....(Andy).

(Andy) will be touring the country looking for a venue that will have him and ticket sales are unexpected.

The album is available at the incredible price of 42p or is free with any pack of two earplugs at Boots or Superdrug.

Other featured favourites are:

So How Come No One Loves Me

Me Myself I

Friendless Departure

Pretty Vacant

and the much covered

You've Got Me Under Your Skin